Walking A Different Path

I received the very sad news this week that an old friend of mine had passed away. I have to say that it didn't come as a shock, because I knew that he was suffering from both cancer and a terminal lung complaint. But having said this, it still upset me immensely on hearing that he had passed.

Bob was a proud Scot who didn't suffer fools at all. He either liked you, or he didn't! Trust me when I say that you would know if he didn't like you, as he made it as plain as can be. Lots of people didn't know quite how to take him as he just said whatever he thought, and if it upset you then that was your problem as far as he was concerned. I know that I'm not painting a good picture of him, but he was a good, honest man who was loyal to his friends. Now is not the time to go into the antics that we got up to, but my memories of him are all fun-filled. He had a very dry sarcastic wit that could cut stone which was good as he was a bricklayer by trade.

But having said all this, I hadn't seen him before he died for many years. The strange thing is that my son's partner's mother is a friend of Bob's wife, though we found this out by accident. It was her that told me how ill he was. When I found out, I tried to go and see him, but he said he would love to meet up when he was having a good day. I knew what he meant. He was a proud man and didn't want me to see him in such a frail state. He never had another good day.

There was never any reason to stop meeting up with Bob for a drink and a catch up. It was impossible to fall out with him, as we both said what we wanted, so we could never offend each other. The thing that happened was something that happens to all of us of a certain age, we walk different paths. Think about friends from your youth. The ones who you regarded as brothers or sisters, how many do you keep in touch with?

I left the building trade where I worked as a joiner, and Bob also moved on, to work for the local council. I travelled a lot and became self-employed, which meant I had to chase money all the time with having a young son and a mortgage to pay. Our paths took us both in different directions, When they crossed again it was too late, which was sad.

I think this is also the cause of many marriage breakups. Couples slowly start to get different interests and friends, and one day they wake up and don't really recognise the person in the bed next to them any more. They have become two strangers who share a house together, and when they split, neither can really say why it happened.

The news about Bob caused me to think of other people over the years that I have known. Working in the building trade in the seventies and eighties in the north of England caused me to know quite a lot of eccentrics. I once worked with a man who had everything but could keep nothing. He was the same age as my father. They said that 'Dickie', as he was known, was a good looking man when he was in his youth. But he would have been in his late forties when I knew him, and the looks had well and truly gone! It was often quoted that Dickie had a face that had worn out two bodies. This was true, because, for someone who was only in his late forties, he had a face that resembled an old man's scrotum! His wife was supposed to be quite beautiful, but she left him. He lost nearly every job he ever got, because of his love of a good time. He once confided in me that he had been caught drink driving and that it was the third time this had happened and he was scared that he may go to prison. His anguish on the run up to his court procedure was plain to see. But against all the odds, he was acquitted on the day because of a technicality. So the first thing Dickie did was to go to the pub with friends and get pissed out of his mind. That night the police pulled him trying to drive to the local fish and chip shop which was only down the road from where he lived he could have easily walked it. He wasn't as lucky this time, as he was sent down.

I also remember a man from my days on the building sites who drove a digging machine. He was a large man who worked seven days a week and seemed to live in his overalls. I tried to keep away from this guy as much as possible because we both annoyed each other. He was a Methodist or from some sub-sect of Methodism, and spent all day singing hymns. He spouted whole chapters from the bible to anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck in his company. He was like all the holier than thou brigade, he was a bigoted arrogant bore. But the thing that surprised me the most was when the news came through that he had been arrested. It turned out that he was a bigamist, with two families who knew nothing of each other! No wonder he worked seven days a week. How did he manage to fit in two families? I heard later that he did what all the evangelist preachers in America do when they are caught shagging some eighteen year old chorister or when they find two million dollars of the churches money in their personal bank accounts, HE REPENTED TO GOD, HALLELUAH! It seemed to work, as both his wives forgave him!

I often think about these people, most of them are no longer with us. But I decided to look up some old friends who have not seen for many years and who have walked down different paths to me. All I can say is that sometimes it's best to leave the past as just memories, and some paths are best left un-walked.