I'll Plead The Fifth Amendment!

As a writer, it’s my job to think of things to write about. But what happens if there’s nothing I need/want to say?

This is exactly how I find myself this week, there’s nothing new to talk about.

Lots of our politicians here in the UK are found to be corrupt - wow, what a surprise. I think politicians have a clause in their contracts which states that they will turn to the dark side after so many years. So there’s nothing new to say about politics.

Only that they tried an underhanded way of closing children’s heart surgery centres around the country The health secretary Jeremy Hunt, (it’s rhyming slang) has done a U-turn, saying that the recommendations were unsound! This was another flagrant disregard the Tories have for the people of this country! But not to worry, Labour has got their backs! 

We have a problem with our entertainment industry, which seems to have been staffed by perverts.

Lots of our much-loved entertainers turned out to be paedophiles or rapists, but not to worry, they could belt out a good tune.  It started with Jimmy So-vile, who certainly knew how to fix it for hundreds of kids around the country.

Lots of people knew what was happening but turned a blind eye! For years, whenever I have worked with people from the BBC, if his name was mentioned they would recoil in horror and say he was creepy but wouldn’t say any more. I thought he was an ‘uncle groper’ type that copped a feel when he placed his arm around a woman, never once did I think he was the worst paedophile this country has known!

Then I thought about writing about my old favourite subject, the Catholic Church!

I was going to talk about how the last Pope, when he was a Cardinal, had put out a memo saying that all instances of child abuse reported about a Catholic priest should end up on his desk. But when he became chief of peado’s.. sorry Pope, he said that he knew nothing about the abuse?

But the thing that worried me more was that the church paid out two BILLION pounds in damages and hasn’t suffered financially.

Surely if this society of love and tolerance has that kind of spare cash they could do wonders around the world? Think of all the lives they could save, all the suffering they could alleviate.

But instead they use their wealth to pay people for the harm and suffering they cause them as children.

So there’s nothing to write about there.

There is one thing I can tell you this week, it’s about my beautiful little partner-in-crime, Harleigh.

I know I’m beginning to bore you all with just how beautiful she is, but this week her parents took her for her first passport photo.

I need to point out that Harleigh has lovely tanned skin and dark hair. Her mother, Kim, is mixed race (whatever that means? I thought we were all just called the human race, but if your parents are of different colours this, for some reason, means that you are of two races?)

Sorry I digress.

Harleigh sat in the photographers under the lights and had her photo taken. Can you imagine the shock when the photograph developed and there for all to see was a picture of a beautiful little white blonde-haired girl?!

Honest, there was no mistake; the lights had made her hair look totally blonde and her skin white - she was still beautiful, but just a different tone of beautiful!

But this is not really newsworthy is it?

So I’m afraid I’m going to have to plead the fifth, I have nothing to say!