I think I've caught "stupid"!

There are so many a horrible diseases that humans can catch it’s a wonder we manage to survive as a species!

Some, like the common cold, are unpleasant but are more of an inconvenience than a serious illness. Others can cause bits of the body to stop working and bits to fall off and of course the ultimate thing that illness can cause is the subject we don’t ever want to think about… erectile dysfunction!

But even though we as a species have more than enough ailments to deal with, I think I’ve caught a new and yet undiscovered disease, ‘Stupid’

Sorry, I wasn’t passing comment on you, that’s the new illness that I seem to have contracted, let me explain.

I have, in the past been of reasonable intellect. I know there will be lots of people who would like to take issue with this statement. so we shall just move on.

I have, in the past, had my own successful businesses, had jobs where qualifications were required, held debates on many subjects and won a pub quiz in a bar in Crete. 

I now write about many subjects on many levels, I read constantly about many different subjects So how come I can’t work out how to use the catch on my grand-daughters car seat?!

I can’t work a video camera which has the misleading claim of "FOOL PROOF!" emblazoned across the box. My computer has taken advantage of my new illness, and plays with my head by altering what I type. I can’t get the top off the new "CHILD PROOF" bottle we recently bought.

The radio in my car has a traffic alert warning on it; I know that there’s a button that turns this off, but can I find it?!..

I woke up this morning and sprung from my bed… sorry, crawled from my bed. I couldn’t work out why my wife was shouting at me or why walking was more difficult than usual. Believe it or not I had some how manage to get my foot tangled up inside the duvet cover and dragged the duvet from the bed, walking into the bathroom with it around my ankle. But it gets worse, because I hadn’t noticed that I had a king-sized duvet wrapped around my leg!

I suffer from quite bad migraines when exposed to sunlight, so I wear sunglasses even when it’s overcast in the summer. The other day when we were lucky enough to get one of our rare sunny days, I couldn’t work out why the sun was affecting me so badly and I felt ill, that was until I realised that I was walking around town with my wife’s reading glasses on instead of my sunglasses!

I super-glued a tea towel to my left nostril the other evening, while trying to mend an ornament! Talking of nostrils, I also managed to draw blood from mine while using a harmless nasal hair trimmer.

In the supermarket the other day, I made a woman who I had never met before in my life put half the contents of her shopping basket back on the shelves saying, ’We don’t need all that crap!’ then realised she wasn’t my wife. I spent a good five minutes apologising.

I’m a bit to young for dementia yet. I do still do a bit of boxing, so it could be brain damage, but I doubt it. I might be like Homer Simpson and every time I learn something new, it pushes something else out of my brain.

Or could it just be that I’ve caught stupid?