Old For New!

The BBC and ITV have each released their new exciting summer schedule. Although they are under constant pressure from the internet and film networks, they both claim to have a winning lineup.

The BBC spokesman said that they have come up with a new soap opera called ’West Enders’ which is set in the west end of London. They have also announced their daring new Saturday night show, “Dancing with Stars on Snow Slopes”. Also “Cooking with Delia’s Hairdresser” and “Bake off yer Head!”

To back up these innovative new shows is a line up of block buster movies such as The Wizard of Oz, Jaws and ET.

A spokesman said that a great amount of thought and planning has been put into this schedule, which is sure to be a winner.

ITV, on the other hand. laughed off the claims of the BBC, saying that as usual it was just a re-hash of old ideas.

They have announced their summer lineup with new programs such as, “Come Eat With Me”, “Let’s Eat At Your Place” and “Celebrity No Hopes Dining”! They have also announced a new celebrity show called, “I Want To Be a Celebrity, Get Me a Career!”, where wannabe celebs are humiliated on live TV.

They have also announced their big name signing to front one hundred and eighty new game shows, Max Bygraves is back, to add sparkle and energy!

When the companies were challenged about their lack of thought, one reviewer saying “This is just a pile of crap!” The BBC replied that yes, that was the title of their new teatime show.

The world of publishing has responded to claims that they too are unable to respond quickly enough to the changes in publishing. Where more people are having access to publish their own books, cutting out the big companies. Fodder and Fodder said that they have a brilliant new series of books, released soon. ‘Fifty Shades of Colour‘, ‘Forty Eight other Colours’ and ‘Just what is that Colour?’

And their young readers will be enthralled with a new series of stories where a young witch goes to a witches’ school and finds out the man that killed her parents is out to kill her; it’s called ‘Sally Totter’

When asked why they are not doing more to introduce new authors and new ideas, a spokesman said “We have a ‘making a quick buck’ department doing overtime at the moment. We already have a book by Cheryl Douglas who makes the tea for people at Spurn Point TV. She has made  cups of tea for such famous people as Eammon Holmes and ‘H’ from Steps! So imagine the stories she has to tell!”

“We also have lots of celebrity chef books, waiting to go straight to the  remainder market!”

A spokesman for a small independent publishers said, “We don’t have the money to throw at such wasteful projects. We invest in new authors and new ideas. We have to publicize our books on a shoestring budget. But with the rise in e-books, it won’t be long before we can compete on an equal footing with the big boys.” He added, “Why don’t some of the big name authors write something, even a short story for a small publishing company. They could try out new ideas if they liked. This would give them a chance to reach a new audience and help to revitalise the publishing industry. And give the finances of small publishers a shot in the arm.”

Now, I’m off to watch my favourite programme, ‘Celebrity Dancing in the Jungle while Dining with X factor winners!’