Right, Write the Last Rites!

One of the things I hear from people when they find out what I do for a living is, “That must be a really interesting job?” Actually, it's like any other job: it has its highs and lows. The highs for me are working in schools and the lows, believe it or not, is the actual writing!

I used to be a joiner many years ago and have worked on many building projects. The thing about having a skill such as joinery is that, even though you are creating something, you have something to work with. You will have all the necessary tools, materials, drawings etc. In other words you have something physical to work with. There is also a list of dos and don't s while building. Trying to cut corners and trying to build against the laws of geometry always ends in disaster. Whereas, as a writer I have nothing to work with; everything has to be created from scratch. There are no write and wrong ways (see what I did there?).

The world you create has to be believable to the reader, and has to engage the reader. When you find the foolproof way of doing this, can you send me the formula please. All types of art are subjective: with some, you will like your work, while others you will hate. I'm a strange 'bod' about this, because if someone really hates my work, with a passion I'm just as happy as when they really enjoy it. Because it has provoked a response. The worst thing for me is to be nice. I hate it when people describe me as a nice person. I can't remember this ever happening, though. Nice is a word to describe the tepid and non offensive. Nice is the acceptable, where we can all have a cup of tea and cucumber sandwiches. If you are afflicted with the terrible blight of needing to write, then you must develop rhino skin and be prepared to rock the boat: if not, don't bother, find yourself a nice little job in a shop instead.

Don't think that the piece that you have written now is a failure because you can't sell it. You must keep hold of it, as it may be the next big thing in ten years' time. Also don't be too critical of yourself, but don't be blind about your faults either. We all write a pile of crap from time to time, some of us more than others!

But it is odd the way we treat some professions better than others. When you have a journey in a taxi often people will give the driver a tip. But you wouldn't think of doing this to a bus driver, who has just provided the same service. When you go out for a meal, you might give the waiter/waitress a tip (In America you will give them a tip, they will make sure of this). But when someone serves you in a clothes shop, you don't tip them, same service, different products.

When my wife worked in nursing, people would say, you people are saints. Most of their time they are up to their armpits in pus and crap: not very saintly. But a person that gives up their time to walk the cold streets at night feeding and helping homeless people is doing just as much of a valuable job, usually without pay, but they don't usually get a mention.

We are seen and assessed by what we do for a living. If you are a doctor, you are a responsible pillar of society, but I know of lots of doctors that I wouldn't leave my cat alone with. While if you are a person that empties the bins, or a cleaner in an office, some people will look down on you. Try going with out your rubbish being taken away for a month, or cleaning your workplace while also trying to work, and you will soon see the need of such professions.

The strangest thing about job snobbery is how it changes over time. When I was a kid here in Britain, being a chef was not regarded as a particularly good profession to be in. Those of us that were apprentice-trained in the building trades didn't see the catering apprenticeship as a 'proper' trade! Now it's the new rock and roll, and everyone wants to make a claim to being a chef! Talking of rock and roll, many years ago, people wanted to make music and have fun. They learned to play instruments and sing. Now, you appear on a karaoke show and have the career that encompasses the same length of time as the life-span of a moth!

I know that some jobs, such as a computer programmer, weren't really a career option a hundred years ago, whereas a knocker-upper is not in great demand today! A knocker-upper, by the way, was a person who walked the streets pre-alarm clock days and tapped on people's windows to wake them up for work. There was one famous lady who used a pea-shooter to do this.

But to get back to my original point, if you write for a living it's not interesting, it's mainly frustrating, and now I have to find something to write a blog about, but I can't think of anything: any ideas?