I love myths and legends. When I was only knee-high to a grasshopper, my
Grandfather would tell me wonderful stories about Banshees and Fairies; he was
such a powerful story teller that he made me believe in what he told me.
And that, my friends, is where the problem starts, You see, I grew up and
started to read and ask questions and not believe things that others told me
were true. I made my own mind up, based on evidence.
The evidence is that most myths and legends are the same story in
different settings.
Try this one - it’s really the basis of most myths:
He was born on the 25th of December, in a cave or a manger.
He was born to a virgin mother and his birth was attended by shepherds.
He was known as the saviour of the light’
He had twelve disciples and ate a last supper before his death.
His followers gave each other presents on his birthday and they had
their HQ on Vatican Hill. The leader of his followers was known as Papa!
Have you guessed who it is yet? Of course you have, it’s the Roman god,
Mithras!
This story is so old and attributed to lots of different people in many
cultures.
Now believers of other gods etc., will disagree and write in fine details
telling me that the followers of Mithras were secretive and never wrote
anything down. And that all we know about Mithras is hearsay and conjuncture,
no proof at all. The idea has only come about because of dodgy scholars trying
to prove theory. And I will agree with them, one hundred percent! As with all
the other stories with the same theme, they are all untrue, that is why we call
it ’Mythology’ Just because you have spent a life time studying and believing
in a theory, it doesn‘t make it true. That is the problem with beliefs; they rely
on blind belief, and fitting square pegs into round holes!
If you want to hear this story again read up on, Hercules, Adonis,
Osiris, Baal and Astarte and another guy whose name just escapes me at the
moment!
Now, in Britain, we have lots of famous mythological heroes, that lots of
people think were real.
One of my favourites was Arthur of Camelot fame. He had a group of
disciples or knights as they were known. He fought against the black knight to
rid the country of evil.
It is said that he died for his people, but will rise again when the country
is in the grip of terror - Is it me, or have you heard this story somewhere else?
Arthur is probably a mixture of people and stories, as all myths and
beliefs are. The idea would have probably come from the Roman occupation of
Britain. When the Romans started to leave Britain because Rome was being ‘Vandalised’,
there would have been quite a lot of vying for power. Because the Romans used
lots of mercenaries in their armies it would be difficult to say where Arthur
came from but some of these mercenaries would have tried to fill the void.
It was the medieval idea of chivalry that recreated the myth of Arthur and
the round table and turned him into a medieval knight.
Some halfwits believe that Churchill was a reincarnation of Arthur and
was sent to save Britain in its most dire hour of need, world war two! These people should
really buy themselves a book.
Firstly, Churchill was no hero to anyone ever; again his legacy is just a
myth. This statement will get lots of people frothing at the mouth. If you don’t
believe me, take your rose-coloured spectacles off and read the facts again. Why
do you think he wasn’t voted back into power after the war?
Secondly, although the British are famed for fighting to the bitter end
(have you seen our football team?) and the suffering that the people gave to
try and save their country cannot be denied (they fought ill-equipped and outnumbered, getting their arses kicked on many occasions, but they still fought on)
the real truth is that our tiny little island, although it has always punched
well above its weight, was saved by the Americans and the Russians.
Next we have Robin Hood, who if Hollywood is to be believed lived in a
wood with his merry men and wore green tights (Hello, Boys!). Robin and his followers robbed from the rich to give to the poor and
fought against the tyranny… yadda, yadda
Robin Hood's identity is attributed to Robin of Loxley but again, as with all myths,
he's probably a mixture of lots of people. In the Middle Ages, Britain was covered with forest, so he could have been
anyone. Although his grave is supposed to be here in Kirklees, where I reside. To be an ‘outlaw’ in those days meant a very harsh existence indeed,
because, as it says on the can, ‘out law’ - they had to live outside the law
surviving on their own.
Francis Drake was a real person, of that there is no doubt, but he has
reached mythical proportions here in Britain. The Spanish called him the dragon,
and for good reason, he can be summed up in one word, ‘pirate’! If you really don’t believe me, read up on him. May I recommend a
fantastic book about him, Sir Francis Drake, The Queen's Pirate by Harry Kelsey. One hell of a read.
Lots of people, including my father, thought that Sweeny Todd the demon
barber was a real person but I’m afraid he is just a work of fiction written
for the penny dreadfuls by (I think) Peter Haining? But again, lots of so-called
scholars have tried to prove the existence of old Sweeny.
The same goes for Sherlock Holmes, the amount of American tourists that
turn up looking for him on Baker Street is unbelievable. It was written by Arthur Conan the Barbarian, if you wondering.
It has been said that lots of our mythological heroes will come back to
save us in our time of need, but I think we have slipped into a parallel
universe. Robin Hood has come back to our failing economy under the guise of ‘Dave
in da hood’, with his bunch of miserable bastards, the cabinet. We have little nick and "fryer" Pickles, but this time they rob from the
poor to give to the rich! They are not outlaws but are forcing honest hardworking people to become
outlaws to survive; strange old business, this mythology!
So whatever your preferred myth or legend is, enjoy it, read about it
but don’t take it too seriously and let it take over your life. Me, I’m sticking
to Banshees and fairies!
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