Saturday, 17 January 2015

A Lesbian Utopia!

'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle' is the phrase that I have had thrown at me many times since it was first uttered by Irina Dunn back in 1970. You may think that, though it is quite witty, it's totally untrue. But it seems it is, in some cases, a fact!

I have been reading this week about parthenogenesis. This is not a Greek prog rock band, but a way of animals giving birth without a male. We all know that you need the 'X' and 'Y' chromosomes for an egg to develop. The woman has the 'X' and the man has the 'Y'. But it seems that, in some species, mainly reptiles, this doesn't need to happen. What happens is the female uses some of its own cells to form the 'Y' chromosome.

Quite recently, an anaconda gave birth to two healthy little Anna's in a zoo, and it had never had contact with a male in all its life. There is a colony of whip tail lizards in Mexico that are all females, they don't have any males at all, but still reproduce, using parthenogenesis. Though they do still go through the motions of mating, it's just that its now 'Lady Love'. It must be like living in Hebden Bridge! 

This small former mill town in Calderdale is supposed to have the most lesbians living there. I was struggling to write that last piece, as no matter what I wrote, it sounded quite offensive. I don't know what the collective noun for a group of lesbians is? I would imagine its a 'Haircut!' that seems to fit, a haircut of lesbians! Come on, girls, it is like a badge of honour isn't it? Do you all use the same barber? A friend of mine told me that she kept her hair long to disguise the fact that she was gay. Not that she was ashamed of it just that it was no one else's business who she slept with! When she first told me that she was gay I think I replied with, “I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret?” She asked how I could tell? Lets just say that even the most hardened homophobe knows the dress code of the average lesbian.

Having said that Hebden Bridge is lesbian central, I don't have any proof of this. It is a fact that lots of my friends that are gay quote to me. I am actually the official Poet Laureate for Calderdale (get me!) and I don't know of anyone who is gay who lives there. I work there quite often, as its quite an arty little town, but its very middle-class and dare I say quite boring. We need diversity of all sorts - that's why a woman does need a man! Even if you don't find men sexually attractive or even mentally stimulating. Seeing an opposing view of life helps you to strengthen your views, or even see life from another perspective. I must confess that I do prefer women's company over men's. I spend most of my life in female company, and on the whole I quite like it. But there are times when I need to meet up with male friends to, as one of my friends says, 'Talk Shite!'

Men can rib each other without anyone taking offence, 'You fat bastard!' is a common and affectionate greeting between men. I don't think women could tolerate anyone in their circle of friends using such language. Men can spend hours talking about unimportant things that are of great importance. Such as sport, bikes and cars and whose round it is! Conspiracy theories, about aliens and governments, are also high on the agenda with some. We don't need to talk about important things we have women to talk to about those. Although we do like our politics, beer politics is the most heated type of debate. All men know how to put the world to rights, it's just that when we get a chance to do so, we cock it up!

I think it must be the way that society says we must behave that makes us so different, as I can't really see why we should act so differently through genetics. Women are far more tolerant than men and this is probably because they have to put up with men. They are on the whole far more adventurous than men as well. All the macho types now will be scoffing at such a claim, but lots of men quite like routine, going to the same pub, and the same place for a holiday. Of course, this is a generalisation - lots of men, including myself, can't stand that way of life. But on the whole it is that way.

I know lots of women that have travelled abroad by themselves, in fact, some women I know have travelled the world by themselves. I only have one male friend that does this. Women are the first to try different foods, men tend to stick to the old favourites. When we had the first wave of mass immigration, back in the fifties and sixties, women were far more welcoming to people than men were. When people go out in mixed groups, men tend to gravitate to each other and so do the women. We have different priorities. I don't care who did, said what to who. I don't want to know who's going through a hard time with their kids or who has bought what. When I'm out I want to eat, drink, have a laugh and 'Talk Shite!' This is what I'm good at.

But having said all this, we need a balanced view of life and people, no matter what they are or where they come from, or what they believe or don't believe, or what their sexuality is, all bring something to the table. And for me this is what makes life interesting, this is why I love to travel. Uniformity is boring. We should celebrate our differences, accept them, laugh at them and even argue over them.

You see, to have a lesbian utopia would be like lots of people's ideas of utopias, it would be filled with like-minded people with the same hair cuts, clothes, views, likes and dislikes. Although I do regard myself as an honorary lesbian (I dress like them, have a similar hair cut, and I find women attractive) I don't want to live among my own all my life. It's a big world out there, and I want to see it, experience it and enjoy it. So whether you like it or not, girls, you are stuck with us boring, puerile, macho, clever, witty, stupid, timid, ugly, handsome, selfish, caring men.

Go on, admit it, you like us really, don't you?

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