Monsters!

There is some primeval fear that we humans have about beasts that hide in the dark. It is easy to see where the fear came from in days gone by. In past times we, too, were part of a menu for something!

All we had to go on in those days were the terrible stories of how a hideous beast ran rampant through the camp, killing and maiming until it took off some hapless victim! We were all enthralled and horrified on equal measures when these stories were told around the camp fires. 

We now know about animals in the wild and we know what is a danger to us (here in Britain this is virtually nothing!) But we still like to believe in the monsters that lurk in the dark, from vampires to yetis.

When we are children the world is a big scary place where monsters hide everywhere, just waiting to jump out at you. Some live under the bed, some in wardrobes. For me it was at the top of the stairs and in the cellar! If I'm honest I still don't like going into cellars, but I no longer have a problem with the top of the stairs. I think the fear of monsters in children is a healthy thing, it helps with their imagination and development and it keeps them away from danger (the bogeyman will get you!)

But there are also monsters in real life too; many people who still live by and from large rivers around the world know of some of the strange things that lurk under the water waiting for some poor unsuspecting fisherman. The TV programme, 'River Monsters' shows some of these fish, and I, for one, wouldn't be happy taking a bath in any river where they swam. Although in the Amazon there is a tiny fish that waits for you to urinate while you are standing in the water; it then follows the scent of the urine and swims up the urethra and releases its barbs so it can't be pulled back out! I thought this was an urban myth until recently, but it unfortunately seems to be true! I think I would rather be eaten by a shark!

I have written before about vampires and werewolves etc., so you can read previous blogs about them. But what about yetis? Well, it seems that they too are real! They are not large men type creatures but something just as amazing; they are bears, polar bears! Well, they are polar bears that have mated with brown bears. This is known to happen where the sea meets woodland, but they are related to the first type of bears: in fact their DNA, when tested, shows a match not with modern bears but with bears long thought to be extinct.

The footprints that have been found are those of a bear where they have "double footed", that is where the back foot lands in the print the front foot made. This for me is all very fascinating, I do love a good monster hunt!

When I was a young boy I had (and still have) a fascination for reptiles; snakes are my real love. I have kept many types of snakes over the years but, alas, my wife is terrified of these beautiful creatures, so, with the exception of one garter snake, I no longer keep them.

Once, a local farmer, fed up with people walking through his fields and ruining his crops put up a notice in the field saying, BEWARE POISIONOUS SNAKES IN THIS FIELD. KEEP OUT! 

This, he was sure, would keep away any unwanted feet from trampling all over his fields. But as a ten year old boy, when I saw the notice, it read to me as, WOW! THERE'S SNAKES IN THIS FIELD! YOU MUST COME IN AND HUNT FOR THEM! AND BRING AS MANY FRIENDS AS YOU CAN FIND IF THEY DARE COME ALONG! Needless to say that the whole field was over run with young lads snake hunting!

We also have the Loch Ness Monster here in Britain (Scotland). But it obviously doesn't exist. As with most of these myths, there's a brief mention of something hundreds of years ago, then nothing, until some idiot turns up with a dodgy photo, then the beast is seen all the time. There are people with sonar patrolling the loch day and night but they haven't seen anything yet. There was the photo where they thought they had seen a dinosaur-type creature, but it turned out to be a log! Think about it - if there was something there, it would live at extreme depths, so it couldn't swim to the surface for a look around, as the change in pressure would kill it. Also there would have to be more than one of them for the sightings to keep on coming. And what about when they die - why don't they float to the surface?

There are though giant squid in the oceans though, that have attacked submarines. Many times when subs are taken into dry dock for repairs there are gouge marks on them that match up to those of the the beaks of a squid. Giant squid have also been trawled up, and washed up on beaches.

There have also been sightings of a beast that lives on Bodmin moor, which they think might be a jaguar. This could be true as there are lots of idiots who get "exotic" pets to show off to their friends only to find that the cuddly little kittens and puppies turn out to grow into big killing machines. So they either shoot them or release them; this could explain the sightings. But all the sheep that have been killed by an unknown beast in the area have been killed by dogs. The way a cat slaughters and a dogs slaughters are easy to distinguish if you know about these things (so I'm told).

But there are still real monsters in the world, nevertheless, and the ones you must fear the most wear suits! They walk among you, pretending to have your interests at heart, only to wreak havoc on your lives. They may own your finances, energy and ultimately your freedom! You, to them are just a statistic a number on a screen to be manipulated into profit. Keep away from these monsters at all costs!