I have, in the past,
staged productions in the theatre, but nothing on the scale of these
musicals. As the man in charge, I can tell you that it's a lot of
hassle and pressure, especially when things go wrong.
I remember one
incident when Elaine, my co-producer, and myself walked into the
theatre on the day of the production and within two minutes of
walking through the door of the auditorium, Elaine received a phone call
from one of the main acts, saying they were unable to make the show! Trust me when I
say I developed instant Tourette's!
When so many
people depend on you and so much money is at stake, I can't imagine
what sort of pressure some of these producers are under.
But having said
all this, I just don't get it! None of it! Musicals are, for me,
tuneless, camp and dull. I know millions of people love them; my
brother and his wife visit London regularly to go to see the latest
musical extravaganza. I know lots of people who would love to be able
to see one of these camp-fests but don't have the finances. I have
the finances, but not the slightest interest.
I do have to
confess that when I was very young I saw the film musical, `Singing
in The Rain ' on TV and really enjoyed the 'Make 'em Laugh' routine
with Donald O’Connor - and that was only because he ran up a wall.
But that's about it for me.
Andrew Lloyd-Webber's stuff, leaves me feeling cold. I find the production of the
pieces that I've seen extremely over the top and camp and I find the
music tedious.
I also watched a
documentary on the history of the musical, 'Les Miserables' and
though this was really interesting, the musical wasn't. Which is a
shame, because the book by Victor Hugo, who was the French equivalent
of Charles Dickens, was a masterpiece.
So why don't I
like the musicals? I love a good story, I love music, I even like a
few operas, but I just don't get musicals.
While I'm on the
subject of operas, many years ago I went to watch a production of
Puccini's `Madame Butterfly'. During the performance, the lead female
character, Cio-Cio San asks the lead male character, Pinkerton, to
guess her age. He starts off at twenty years old and works down to
seventeen. Cio-Cio replies, “No I'm fifteen”. It was then that
someone from the audience shouted out, `lying cow!'
Can you imagine my
shock on discovering that it was me that had shouted it out? I thought
it but didn't realise that I had said it. I was quite pleased to hear
it get a big laugh though more than can be said for the fifty-seven
year old Cio-Cio, who flicked me the finger!
Why don't these
operas try to get someone that could at least pass for ten years
older than the character they are trying to play. And putting on a black
wig and a kimono and painting the side of your eyes, doesn't hide
the fact that you are a sixteen-stone granny from Russia!
Another thing
about operas is that when someone gets knifed, they sing as they die.
I have had the misfortune to witness quite a lot of violence in my
time, but never once have I seen anyone sing as they die!
But for me some
operas have some fantastic tunes, you can enjoy them even if you
don't understand what they are saying.
Lots of people
know tunes from operas such as Carmen without realising it, and I love
the chorus of the Hebrew Slaves from Verdi's `Nabucco'. But I don't think I
could tell you one song from a musical - I'm sure if someone mentioned
one, I would know it but they don't stand out.
One last thing
before I go and pour myself a drink. If Giuseppe Verdi lived in
England he would be called Joe Green; doesn't have the same ring to it,
does it?
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