I have written many times about my
friends. I think it's safe to say that most of them are their own
people, who live their own lives without interference from the outside
world, especially the media. Some of these people are my friends for
no other reason than geographical proximity - they lived close to me
as a child. We have nothing in common intellectually, emotionally or
politically, but we are firm friends nonetheless. Some of the friends
I met later in life have a lot more in common with me, but again
there are points where we are in disagreement. With one friend,
neither of us can remember where we met or when; we have nothing in
common other than the ability to make each other laugh, and for me
this is good enough! I must admit that lots of people may find some
of my friends a little odd - but what is normal? I have yet to find
it. One thing I do know is that for all my friends, if the occasion
demanded, I would stand up beside them to be counted.
So having said all this, how come I
seem to have fallen in with the clown section of the 'Mal Cirque'?
Let me explain.
If you are not from Britain or indeed
from Europe and you are reading this blog you may not be aware that
Britain is about to have a referendum on whether to stay in Europe or
not. I'm talking politically now: I don't mean phoning the AA to tow
us to Brazil for a bit of sun and sex! I, like most people, have a
view on the political status of Europe and I personally have never
believed the Common Market was in the best interests of Britain. I
believe that political unions like these favour the rich, and if you
look at the research this seems to be the case. Big multinationals
and banks are the winners… and they are the ones making the most
threats at the moment! I'm not saying that nothing good has come from
being part of the EU; workers’ rights and reforms on the
environment have been their biggest successes in my opinion. But it
is staffed by second-rate politicians doing grubby deals to serve
their own interests.
Originally the EU was set up with a
view to Europe becoming a federal state, a super-power. But the more
countries that join the union, the weaker existing members become.
Just look at Cameron's feeble attempts to strike a deal! He got
precisely nothing. My whole disagreement with the EU is financial:
that is, I think Britain will be better off outside its confines. I
don't think for one moment that the world will stop trading with us
or (as Cameron pathetically claims) we will go to war. Neither do I
believe that we are more at risk of a terrorist plot, or that other
European countries will not share intelligence about suspected
terrorists if we were not part of the union. It is as much in their
interests as it is in ours to stop these people.
On the other hand, I think we should
take in more refugees. I don't care about sovereignty, I want to vote
for a government, not have one foisted on to me. Well, you know what
I mean! I think the problem is that no one knows what will happen or
if we stay in or leave. Everything is just assumptions. The
big hitters who make claims designed to scare the great unwashed are
just giving one scenario; whereas there are lots of other
possibilities. This includes the chief of the Bank of England, who,
when questioned by economists who knew what they were talking about
admitted that what he said was not a certainty. Both sides in this
referendum don't seem to have an argument either way. One side bangs
on about immigration and sovereignty, while the other just keeps on
giving us scare stories which become more outrageous as the
referendum date looms ever closer.
So having said all this can you imagine
my horror to find that all the politicians who are on the Brexit side
are the very people that I loathe. Let’s get Farage Rhymes With
Garage out of the way first. He's a pompous creep who has used the
migrant card for years for his own political ends. But having said
this, he can hold his own in any debate about the workings of
Brussels. Ian Dunkin' Doughnut is just a political failure who wants
to claw back some sort of credibility.
But my utmost horror was reserved for
Slime In The Suit Gove. When he announced he was part of
Brexit, I really started to worry about my judgement! If you are not
from Britain you will not know who this smarmy little toad is. We
have two contenders here in Britain for the title of ultimate camp
Bond villain: Mandelson and Gove. Mandelson is the sort that would
stand stroking a fluffy white cat. (You’ll never find him stroking
a pussy ... sorry, couldn't help myself.) He is the one who will
say, “No, I expect you to die, Mr Bond!” then laugh maniacally.
Gove on the other hand would be standing stroking a white cat with a
skewer through its head and wondering why it wasn't responding to
him!
But we have to save the best till last:
Boris the Bad Johnson. If you think this lump is just a lovable
buffoon, you will be sorely mistaken. He is actually a devious,
manipulative bullying buffoon. He is Britain's answer to Donald
Trump. He is dangerous and ambitious - two very bad qualities when
put together. But he seems to be devoid of any sensible argument for
anything. His pitiful attempt to gain support for Brexit was to
claim that another failed politician, Churchill, would have wanted
it! Then to my surprise the Remain campaign jumped in saying, No,
Churchill would have been on our side. WHO CARES?
When Johnson was challenged about his
remarks comparing the EU’s ambitions to Hitler’s, he made some
weird chugging noise then said that's not what we are talking about
and changed the subject. He does this every time he is challenged
about his mind-numbingly stupid statements. In the 1940s and 1950s
here in Britain we used to have a film company called Ealing Studios
that turned out typically British comedies. These comedies always had
some pompous type shouting at a hapless victim, “You blithering
idiot!” As a child this never made any sense to me, but this phrase
now fits perfectly when applied to Johnson.
While I'm on the subject, who made
these imbeciles the spokesmen for Brexit? Why have they become the
face of the Leave campaign? If they win and we leave the EU (they
won’t win), Cameron will step down and I think Johnson will make a
play for the PM spot with Gove as his right-hand man. This, people,
will be our Trump moment: we will lose what little credibility we
have in the world. If this happens, and if Trump gets into power,
I'm offering my body up for vivisection - they won't have to wait for
me to die!
So you can see my dilemma. By saying
that I don't agree with the economics of the European Union I seem to
have unwittingly aligned myself with a troop of evil clowns. I don't
feel that I can justify ANYTHING these idiots claim or say. So what
do I do?
(Just as a side note when I checked the
spelling for Mandelson on spellcheck it offered me Manhandle! Now
there's an offer you might want to take up!)
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