Stereotypical Stereotypes!

The best thing about travelling is not the staying in horrendous hotels. Nor is it spending hours in airport lounges, or in your car. The best thing about travel is that you get to meet people and see things that can be poles apart, when they are physically only a few miles apart.

I’m born and bred in a town in West Yorkshire called Huddersfield. Which means I’m the proud owner of a Yorkshire accent. Yet just six miles over a hill lies a barren waste land known as Lancashire (now Greater Manchester). The people who inhabit these lost lands speak with a strange accent which bears no resemblance to mine. We are only talking about a distance of six miles here!

I know people who, when asked their nationality, don’t reply, British or English they say, “I’m from Yorkshire!”

I thought this strange until it was once pointed out to me that I always describe myself as Irish/Italian. This is my background, they are not just two nationalities I have plucked from mid-air and claimed for myself.

People always reply, “That’s a strange mix!” but it’s not; they do have a lot in common. Firstly there’s the religious addiction that my parents' generation suffered from. They are each a fiery race. People go on about smooth talking Latin lovers; they have never been on the receiving end of the Irish charm, which has been known to loosen the tightest of knickers.

“Ah!” I hear you say (Those bloody voices again!) “What about the food?” Now, my grandmother had magic powers; she was a tiny little Italian lady who could produce what seemed like a banquet with nothing more than a tomato and a few herbs. But I have had Italian food which they wouldn’t use on the "Bush Tucker Trial" it is so bad. On the other hand I was in Kilkenny a few years ago and sampled some of the best gastro-pub grub I’ve ever had.

The other thing they both have in common is they are both very regional nationalities. You will hear lots of Irish people of a certain generation describing others as, “He’s a Wexford man" or "He’s a Galway man”. Italy and Ireland are both made up of what used to be small provinces not that long ago. So the people still identify strongly with their regional identity.

All this got me thinking just how wrong we are when we stereotype people from different countries. I know that we British are regarded as reserved and sexually repressed by others around the globe. But they soon change their mind when they encounter us in Magaluf or any other Mediterranean resort. Where couples best suited for a David Attenborough documentary strip and copulate on barroom tables etc! If you’re still in doubt about the British lack of inhibition and uninhibited sexuality just watch the Jeremy Kyle show. This show is where they parade people who make a grated carrot look intelligent!

I was lucky enough to visit a school in Germany last year. and I was so impressed by the people and the country. In Britain we are obsessed about the past, and of course the Germans are one of our obsessions. But from the moment I stepped off the plane at Dusseldorf airport and got on sky train to the moment I stepped into my hotel I was impressed. They know how to do things properly. Not only do they take pride in their work, they work hard and play hard, which for me is a perfect balance.

I know, like everywhere in the world, they have their fair quota of lazy low-lifes, but on the whole they are good, hard-working friendly people, and I for one like the German people.

I keep on telling my friends when they bang on about the past that it’s quite ironic that a country that once single handedly nearly destroyed Europe, are now single handedly saving Europe; without the Bundesbank the Euro would now be worth less than an ASDA sausage! (See previous blogs).

I have to admit I haven’t really toured France and my only contact with the French was a bloke who used to drink with my father and Chef Allen! (Also see previous blogs) Now I have my doubts about Chef Allen. I personally think he was born in Barnsley and adopted the French accent to impress the ladies. France has always been somewhere I’ve driven through on my way somewhere else, so I can’t comment.

The same can be said about Luxembourg. I had a lovely week a few years ago visiting St Georges international school in Luxembourg, but the country itself was quite nondescript. It’s so small it’s a place you drive through on your way to somewhere else.

I love Spain, especially outside the tourist resorts. I’m always surprised how shy the locals seem; they shy away from anyone who is not local. The waiters you see on the Costas are not typical Spaniards. But the country is big and diverse and wonderful.

Portugal is one of my favourite countries. There is no impressive scenery and no impressive architecture, with possibly the exception of Sintra. But the people are some of the nicest, friendliest welcoming people I have ever met. They are, like the rural Spanish, quite shy, but a tour around Portugal is well recommended.

The Americans are like having a big teenage son. They can be very polite one minute then very rude the next, I always find this funny. They have no attention span and love new things and bound around with uncontrollable enthusiasm. Because their country is so big, they very rarely travel abroad which leaves quite a lot of them quite ignorant to world affairs. It’s easy to knock and sneer at the Americans but you don’t become a super power by accident.

I hope that there’s someone who is planning to organise a school visit in Australia reading this at the moment because I really want to visit this country. (This also goes for Library or festival visits, just book me!)

Australia has for me everything I need, laid back people, dangerous reptiles and sunshine! (I have always kept snakes and I’m fascinated by reptiles. I’ve also worked with quite a few reptiles in the past!)

Now I know these are simple generalisations and that nations are packed with people of many opinions and ideas. And it’s easy to form opinions about a whole race of people by your encounters with a few of them. Of course there’s always a grain of truth in most stereotypes, but it is usually only a grain. But the most obvious thing is that I too am stereotyping people as I want to see them. Of course not all Portuguese are friendly. Nor are all rural Spaniards shy - some might say they don’t know a shy Spaniard. The truth is as you travel you only have a short time to form an opinion about the places you visit. Most times I have revisited a place it has always seemed different. I suppose it’s the old time and a place thing.

The real truth behind how we see nations is through who ever is in charge of them. We are perceived, like it or not, via our politicians. The problem with this is politicians usually represent a miniscule portion of any country's population. But it’s how they get into power that’s the problem. The South American countries favour Juntas, most Mediterranean countries' politicians have family connections. The Americans vote for the person with the most money, while the Germans seem to vote for the best person for the job. I wonder which of these has the strongest economy?

Here in Britain we favour the old school tie as our favoured means of choosing a politician. That is why we are seen around the world as sexually and emotionally-repressed fuckwits!

But if you really want to see why it’s not a good idea to stereotype, if you live in Britain or if you are planning to visit, try this out. Visit the Isle of Wight, just off the south coast of England. I’m doing just that in a few weeks time. Then drive up to Newcastle on Tyne or Gateshead across the river in the North of England. You are still in the same country, separated by a few hundred miles, but they may well as be in different planets they are so different!

I love encountering different cultures and traditions as long as they are not abuse hidden behind the word ‘culture’. I also love trying different foods wherever I visit; you can tell a lot about people by what they eat! Whether it’s kebabs in turkey or salads in Greece. I was once offered fish and chips in Jerusalem! They taste different when you are there! Try making them when you get home and they never taste the same.

I once bought a chicken croquette from a vending machine in a train station in Amsterdam; to this day I can never figure out why I did this! And it has to be said I have never seen another one of those vending machines anywhere in the world. But I did once see a vending machine selling maggots, outside a garage in Goole, East Yorkshire. I’m hoping it was something to do with fishing but I daren’t ask!

Of course, the Americans are famous for their oversized meals, but we in Britain are beginning to catch them up both in the crap food stakes and in the obesity stakes. The sad thing is that all Americans that visit Britain complain about how crap our food is! This from a nation that has spray cheese!

Talking about the Americans and the past, lets face it they saved our arse in both the last big wars. But I was reading something the other day which made my chest swell with national pride (not something that happens regularly with me).As I said at the beginning of this blog I’m from a Yorkshire town and, when I was young, racism was part of life. I’m ashamed to say that I too used racist language as part of my vocabulary, I didn’t know any different. I had always assumed that racism was rife in Britain since the year dot, how wrong I was.

During WW2 the Americans that were stationed here in Britain before D-Day were shown a film before they set off over here telling them how strange us Brits were. You see in America at the time they still had segregation; blacks and whites were not allowed to mix. They were told that the Brits were a peculiar race as they might invite a black person into their house for a cup of tea. The American GI’s were told not to be offended by this as it was just our strange ways.

But the thing that made me really proud was a lot of the black soldiers that were about to fight and die alongside their white counterparts had the cheek to have a couple of quiet drinks in the many pubs we used to have. Can you imagine the outrage this caused to the white American soldiers - a man having a quiet drink and being friendly to his comrades before he goes off to face possible death fighting against an ideology that they themselves had to deal with every day of their lives? This of course caused quite a lot of fights between the black Americans and the white Americans.  The wonderful thing was British soldiers and the locals waded in on the side of the black soldiers! 

Quick, give me a British flag! I feel a burst of ‘Rule Britannia’ coming on!