Bad Blood!

Can anyone tell me if Jeremy Kyle has signed to every TV station in the world?

Every time I put the TV on, he seems to be there, sneering back at me! It doesn’t matter what channel or time of day, he’s on somewhere.

It’s all too easy to knock this show and its contestants, so I shall.

P. T. Barnum would have been in awe of this trial by media. Where people whose IQs seem to be somewhat lower than the average carrot, air all their dirty washing for the world to see. They seem to have no shame, and treat the day as a day out at Alton Towers. Now, with my past, I’m on dodgy footings trying to take the moral high ground here, but come on people, show a little decorum.

When it comes to sex, most people have at least a few taboos; no family, children or animals involved, but these people are inventing new categories! 

‘My Grandfather cheated on me with my Mother!’

‘The ginger haired white skinned baby with freckles might not be mine, says Mustapha!

‘My Father is my Granddad's cart horse!’

And what is it about dental hygiene with these people? Do they all have dental phobias?

If you put all the people that had ever been on the show together, you would still have more teeth in the average comb!

But it’s the hate and bile that they spit out when they come flying out of the traps back stage, that I have problems with. They have been whipped up into frenzy as the crowd jeers at the spectacle. Speaking of the ‘crowd’ it seems to be made up of the previous week’s contestants who now seem to be able to stride the moral high ground like mighty Colossuses! Offering monosyllabic advice using only platitudes.

I have in the past been a bit of a bad boy and quite a few of the women that have had the misfortune to be in a relationship with me have had good cause to vent their spleen. But Christ almighty, I’m a pussy cat compared to these toothless hillbillies!

Where do they find these people? And do they ever think of the consequences all this will have on their offspring (the ones that are theirs)?

Kyle and his team claim that this is not abuse, and that they offer help, yeah sure, let me just stop this pig from walking on my ceiling! Who is he trying to fool? Why do you never see a doctor and his lawyer wife discussing who might have had a bit of extra marital with little Tarquin's piano teacher on there then? Why do they never look at the social deprivation that has spawned these people, and discuss it? Because this show is all about sensationalism, that’s why.

They want to show all the hate and bile being poured out, as the crowed verbally prods and pokes them. Each show is full of bewildered fat women and skeleton-thin drug and drink ravaged men, trying to work out just what the hell has led them to this. This show is no more than the Roman Coliseum for the 21^st century.

I only catch glimpses of this show, as it sends me running for the remote. But Kim, my son's partner, seems to be addicted to it! Whenever I go to their house it seems to be on.  What’s more, it seems to be the same topic every day, the "this is not your child" theme.

I have in the past done quite a few things that I’m quite ashamed of. But for a woman telling a man that the child she’s carrying is his, when she knows full well it isn’t, is really as low as you can sink.

I love my son, I love his daughter as if she was mine so if I were to find out now after all these years that he wasn’t mine it would be devastating, not only for me, but for him as well. It would destroy my life, his life, my relationship with my wife, and have an effect through both my wife’s and my families. No matter how difficult it is, there is only one option when a woman finds out she is pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is, FIND OUT!

Maybe, just maybe there might be a way of working through it without going on TV in front of millions of people and suffering such humiliation. There are lots of professionals that are there to help you through life’s problems, seek them out. Then if you really want a better life for you and your children look up what your local college has on offer: you’ll be surprised just how much you can enjoy learning, outside of the school environment.

Remember these wise words from the magnificent Bonzo Dogs, “Bad blood, is like an egg stain on your jeans, you lick it but it just won't go away!”