You Are Only Too Old When You Give In!

I have suffered one or two injuries of late, My wife claims they are self-inflicted, but she's wrong. I have had a broken toe, which decided to turn a strange shade of purple then swell to the size of a German sausage! I actually broke my toe while getting out of bed in the middle of the night. We have a metal bed frame, and trying to navigate over a comatose wife sleeping next to me in the dark caused me to get my toe stuck in the bed frame!

The resulting crack, followed by a very severe dose of good, old-fashioned swearing, awoke one comatose wife who, in her infinite patience and consideration, snapped, “Shut up and get to sleep!” as I writhed on the floor in agony. I have to say that the pain did subside after a few days just in time for me to go training. I have two sports, badminton and mixed martial arts. I was coaching a couple of semi-professional fighters when one of them, while trying to get out of a choke I had him in, noticed that I had conveniently left my toe out in full view. So he kindly stamped on it for me. This time I had to be all butch and manly to show that I was unaffected by this callous act, but inside I was screaming like a banshee! The result of this stamp (my fault really, a schoolboy error on my part) left my toe throbbing like a blind cobbler's thumb! But to make matters worse, I went to play badminton the next day with some friends, and the result was my toe gave up the will to live, turned purple, swelled up and decided to torture me.

That evening, I lay in my bed with pains shooting up my leg at regular intervals. The pains weren't severe, just uncomfortable, but they didn't give me any warning, so it was like having an electrical shock! I ended up without a night's sleep. The next day I took myself off to the hospital, as I thought my toe might like an outing where it wasn't being pummeled. On removing my shoe and sock in A&E for the nurse to inspect the damage, I was rather concerned about his qualifications when he looked at my foot containing four healthy normal sized pink toes and one bloated twisted gnarled purple toe and asked, “Which one have you hurt?!”

The toe seems to be on the mend at the moment, but I have still been training with it, as it's quite difficult to go training without it! But now I seem to have picked up a thigh and back injury. I'm not sure how this happened. It may be the way I sleep, or it might have been an eighteen stone professional fighter slamming me on the floor then jumping on the top of me. I'm not sure which it was. My wife, ever the voice of reason, has pointed out to me just how old I am. I don't know why she does this as I have known myself for quite a while now and I'm quite capable of working out my age (sometimes). She tells me that I'm too old to fight, and that I should find another sport, but why? I love my sport, and all sports have an element of risk - some more than others, admittedly. I have friends that are the same age as me that ride motorbikes, others that climb mountains. The one thing that we all have in common is that, yes, we like to take risks but also we are all fit and happy, we are alive and living!

I can't understand the mentality that says your life should stop because you have reached a certain age. I'm not as stupid as my wife thinks. I know that I can no longer fight in the ring. Yes, she's right - I am too old for that. I don't have the strength and speed that I once had. But I still have the knowledge and the bloody-mindedness to teach others, and I can still give the biggest and the meanest a run for their money, so why shouldn't I? Some people are just too keen to give in and take up the pipe and slippers, and in my experience these people go downhill fast. When you give in mentally, it's not long before your body follows suit.

So my present injuries mean that I can't tell my wife about them, as she will only go through the same, “I told you so” routine. But I have found myself making involuntary wincing noises as I stand or sit down. I sound like a lonesome hamster calling for a mate. My wife has noticed and thinks it's my toe that's hurting me, but it's not.

So I shall go on doing what I'm doing until I can no longer stand or move, but I have to admit the way I feel at the moment, I don't think that should be a long time!