Empathy Not Sympathy!

It's that time of year again when people are forced to show some sort of emotion and compassion for one another. Valentine's day is really a card industry invention along with Mothers' Day, etc. I don't really care much about being told that I must buy the one I love a card or gift to show how much I love them! But it does seem that people that behave quite appallingly all year round to their loved ones, are then forgiven for a one off show of generosity and compliance.

Last August, my lovely sister, Theresa, lost her long and horrendous suffering against cancer. She spent the last few months of her life in a local hospice. My wife and I visited her each night, to chat and just to be there, I suppose. In the room next to her was a woman who was also in the late stages of cancer and, as the days went by, she slowly faded, until she lay there unable to communicate to the outside world. Her husband/partner sat by her side every minute of every day and held her hand, and chatted to her, even when she could no longer reply. He showed her old photographs and laughed at stories he told her, and left the room briefly, to break down and cry. He didn't need a card to show how much he loved that woman.

The world seems to be losing the ability to empathise with each other of late. Just drive down a motorway and see the people who purposely try to cut and force their way in, not caring what the consequences are to others on the roads. Watch TV and see how many programs there are where people throw back others' kindness, and the voice over gloats about this dog-eat-dog programme. I can't watch them, as they are populated by needy, greedy wannabes.

When ever I get drunk, I turn into one of those huggy, kissy types that want to put the world to rights. I witnessed, at a party the other evening, a moron who developed a Nazi strut and sneer after a couple of drinks. He slowly started to dominate the event, spoiling a special evening for the person whose party it was. He even started to menace people who tried to ask him in a nice manner to chill out and relax. I found it necessary to have a word with him alone for his own good, and we thought it best that he left the party before he tripped or banged himself and ended up hurt.

But all this pales into insignificance when I heard of the utterly barbaric acts of the mindless troglodytes ISIS or what ever these mindless thugs call themselves. War is a dirty business, of that there is no doubt. But even in warfare there are acts of empathy that change the course of things. The famous football match between the Allies and the Germans in the First World War is one. If you have not heard the story, on the front line one Christmas a temporary truce was called between the two warring factions. They played football in no man's land and swapped stories and photos of each others lives. They shared what meagre rations they could and when it was time to go back to killing each other they couldn't, they knew that they were all in the same predicament, they had made friends they had empathised with each other.

I cannot ever forget the dreadful image of the young girl running down the road in Vietnam, after suffering horrendous burns from napalm. This image had more effect on the American public than any other. So when I heard that ISIS had burned the Jordanian pilot alive this week, I felt quite ill. With this repulsive act, as with their beheading of innocent people, I thought that this would bring about a massive cry throughout the world to put a stop to these murders. Then I heard that the film of the torching of a human being is one of the most viewed films on the net this week. What the hell is wrong with people? I cannot think of anything worse than watching another human scream in agony as they burn alive. Just the thought makes me feel ill!

But even though we have heard all this bad news and no doubt witnessed for ourselves the selfishness of others, which becomes quite tedious after a while, there are things that give me a fresh hope for man and womankind. Here in Britain, there was a case recently where a pensioner was mugged for just a few pounds on his own doorstep. He was thrown to the ground and broke his collar bone. If you have seen the images of this man you know that he had no defence against any assailant. He was a small, very slight, man who obviously had health issues. When I saw a photo of him for the first time I was so outraged that it set me off swearing and ranting, that anyone could think of attacking such a defenceless person. But my anger soon subsided when I heard that a wonderful young woman who had never met this poor unfortunate man set up a Facebook page to raise money for him. The last time I looked, over £300,000 had been raised! 

I do need to remember, that there are also lots of good people out there, who don't need a card to show them that they care!