I have
been off on my travels yet again, to more warmer climes than the north
of England. I have written many times about how I think that travel
is important to improve yourself and your outlook on life.
When
you travel, you quickly find that people are just people the world
over. Yes you meet seedy low-lifes in other countries, but no more
or less than you meet them in your own town or city. You will find that
most people are friendly and just want to get through life without
any fuss. They will probably have the same hopes and dreams that you
have, with slight variations. I once met a man in Portugal who dreamed
of owning a large herd of cows, whereas I opted for a new car.
While
staying at the hotel in Rhodes this week I heard the familiar wail of
Brits abroad, “They don't do proper bacon!” I have tried to
explain to these people that it depends which side of the fence you
stand on, what is 'proper' bacon. If you are not from Britain, you will
not know what all the fuss is about, but bacon is ambrosia to us
Brits!
There
is only one other country that does bacon the same as us Brits and
that's the Danes. I would hazard a guess that our love of bacon comes
from them, when we had 'Danelaw' back in the day! When old Canute
wasn't messing about at the seaside he, no doubt, liked nothing more
than tucking in to a bacon butty with brown sauce! Even vegetarians
here in Britain eat pretend bacon and vegans eat bacon flavoured
crunchy snacks! We are just obsessed with bacon. The moaning pig
munchers are quite right in saying that bacon in other parts of the
world don't resemble what we call bacon, but if you want British
bacon. STAY IN BRITAIN! I'm bored to the back teeth of halfwits
whinging about their breakfasts. When I suggest to them that they may
want to try something different, like say, something from the country
they are in, they look at me as if I have just sold national secrets!
The
other cry I hear time and time again is about Germans leaving the towels on
the sun beds to save them! This of course is true but so do the Brits
and lots of Eastern Europeans in fact everyone does. I have to say
that I don't like staying in hotels and when I do I tend to spend as
much time as possible out of them and seeing the sights of the
country that I have paid lots of money to visit! Why don't these
people hire a car and go off the beaten track? Try to talk with the
locals - a cheap phrase book will help you out. Why not buy a local a
drink in a little bar away from the tourist tat? A bar that has heard
a million stories of life, trials and tribulations. Why don't they
swim in the sea edged by a deserted white sand beach that burns the
soles of your feet for daring to tread upon its beauty? Why don't
they stand holding the hand of the one they love while watching the
sun go down then drink and make love under a warm golden moon?
Instead of sitting in a hotel bar with people they don't like while getting
pissed on cheap plonk!
The
other thing that Brits whinge about when they visit a warm country
is, “Its too hot!” No shit, Sherlock! You mean the country that
you sat and looked at in a brochure, the country that you chose
because of its endless sunshine is... hot?
Now, I
have singled the Brits out for all these silly little prejudices: that's because I'm British, so my fellow countrymen moan to me, but I
know that other countries have these people as well. I also have an
Italian background so I'm quite used to a lot of the Mediterranean
food (See my new book Cooking With Babbo And Nonna). I also speak
Italian and a little Spanish so I'm happy to try different languages, though locals often fall about laughing at my malapropisms as I mangle their
mother tongue, but this is usually followed by a slap on the back and
a drink plonked down in front of me. It's a brilliant way of finding
out what it's like to live in the country you are visiting.
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