Witches!

Silly season is upon us once again! It's nearly Halloween, where we hear about all the ghosts and ghouls that everyone has encountered. I have written in my blogs before about the ghost phenomenon, so I can't be bothered going over it again. Suffice it to say there's no such thing!

But a couple of days ago I had a chat with a woman who says she is a witch, a white witch. She had no reason to add the "white" bit. As with real life, I have no prejudice with colour, a witch is a witch to me. As well as ghosts, I have written before about gods, magic etc. and I can't be bothered to go over that again, either. Suffice it to say there's no such things!

I have met a few women in the past who have claimed to be witches, that is to be part of the Wiccan religion. I have also met men who claim to be wizards. The words 'mad', 'frogs' and 'box of' usually spring to mind when I talk to these people. I can understand people wanting to be pagan and celebrating the changing of the seasons, and have no problem with that, but the spells and magic bit is.. what's that word I'm looking for? Oh yes, BULLSHIT! If you disagree and you are very annoyed with my comments, please feel free to put a curse, spell or whatever you wish on me, and I'm in no doubt that at sometime in my life something bad will happen to me, as it does to everyone in the world.

The thing about witches is that in the past they were probably forces for good. They would undoubtedly have been old ladies who were trying to earn a few pennies by selling herbal remedies. Lots of these old women acted as midwives. My great-grandmother (see picture, below) was such a woman. She was a very fiery, scary woman by all accounts. I think it was me that finished her off. She had travelled the world and encountered the harshness of Siberian winters, attacks from mobs, and even walked away from an explosion that blew her house to bits. Yet when I was born and I was placed on her lap, she declared that I would be strong and famous, then died two weeks later. Well it was either me or the fact that she was 95 years old at the time.

She was in effect a traveller. Her family were wine merchants who travelled the whole of Europe selling their wines. She spoke many languages and even told fortunes when time were hard. She was a herbalist, selling some good, and, no doubt, some dubious concoctions to the people she encountered. She also acted as a midwife, although her methods were downright dangerous. She delivered my father and all his siblings using the 'birthing belt'! This was a large leather strap tied around the woman's stomach and tightened to force the baby out! It's a wonder any baby survived this treatment, but it seems she was in great demand. Her views were sought and held in high regard. She seems to have been a cross between Hannibal Lecter and Marjorie Proops. She was, in her youth, also very beautiful, and there are many paintings of her done by lots of different artists.

The problem was that her beloved Catholic church had used women such as her as scapegoats in the past for all of life's ills. They were called witches and had caused famines and blights when surely this was a thing God had done, not some poor old lady, unless the witches were more powerful than God, as prayers went unanswered at times like these. Lots of old ladies were declared to be witches simply so their land and possessions could be claimed by some heartless greedy man! People known as witch-finders made a living putting these hapless old dears in ducking stools, burning them alive! There are no records of any witch being burnt alive here in Britain, though many were hanged. If you have a burning desire (see what I did?) to read more about such things please read up on the Pendle witches, where a unscrupulous landowner claimed three sisters to be witches so he could claim their land. This is a good example of how faith and ignorance and bigotry come together to cause blind hatred!

For me, witches and wizards are all a bit silly, but they seem to be happy in their world so who am I to criticise a lifestyle? They aren't causing any wars or famines, or imposing their beliefs on others. They are not demanding that people respect their beliefs to the point that others have to change their way of life. They are not forcing people to eat certain foods while ignoring others, nor do they tell people what to wear or who to sleep with. They are not killing others who don't believe in the same things they do, nor do they genitally mutilate their children in the name of their beliefs. They are not creating unwanted pregnancies by telling people that condoms are evil, while the spread of AIDS wipes out sixty per cent of some countries' populations because of this. They don't want young girls to be married off at the age of nine or want to deny them an education. They don't want people to donate large portions of their earnings to their beliefs, nor do they want to cause guilt among their fellow believers.

So let's enjoy silly season, and thank your god that it's a time for witches and wizards and not for other religions, because they really are the things of nightmares!