Sunday, 12 July 2015

Stuff And Nonsense!

I haven't managed to write anything for this blog for quite a while. I have been travelling the length and breadth of the country, visiting shopping centres, theatres, and lots of schools.

If this is the first time you have read any of my blogs, welcome, and where the hell have you been?! I must explain that I am lucky enough not to have a job. I have so much fun and meet so many lovely people. What I do to earn money can't really be described as a job. It is more a passion, but with all passions, sometimes it's very hot, sometimes it cools a little. Having said this it never disappears.

Seeing the response to my work and my comedy is very fulfilling, But the relentless travelling and traffic becomes overbearing at times. It was the hottest day of the year last Wednesday, in fact it was the hottest day ever recorded in Britain. I had spent the day working with the National Literary Trust in a shopping centre in Leicester. I had a brilliant day, The schools that visited were wonderful. The staff and management of the centre were so helpful and made life easy for me. So when I left for home I was in quite good spirits until I hit the M1. There had been a crash and a chemical spillage on the motorway. I left Leicester at 3pm for what should have been a one and a half hour journey home. It took me over six hours to reach home, and this on the hottest day of the year!

I am really lucky to visit lots of schools, both here and abroad. Some, I visit every year. Lots of these schools are wonderful places of learning with hard-working, devoted teachers. We always hear the negatives about members of the teaching profession, but most of them have my utmost admiration. I don't single out any schools as my favourite, because I don't think its fair, but I visited a school on Thursday which I have visited many times. It has to be one of the best schools in the country. Everyone who works in this school, from the cleaning staff right through to the head, has a fantastic ethos about life. The teaching staff are second to none and not only inspire the students but also inspire me working with them.

Having spent so much time around happiness and inclusion and tolerance, it is once again sad to see that one of the weirdy beardy's puppets have gone on a rampage of blind hate, anger and stupidity! The killings in Tunisia have not only ended the lives of innocent people but have brought financial destruction to the country. Tunisia relies heavily on tourism, this action has nearly wiped out their financial lifeline overnight. Why do religious bigots think that suffering and misery are a good thing? Why are they bent on destroying the lives of those who wish to live life differently to them?

Still on the the subject of religious low lifes, I see that yet another Catholic bishop is supposed to stand trial for yet more sexual abuse claims. But guess what? He's fallen ill, so he can't stand trial. How many more paedophiles are going to use the illness route to avoid prosecution? All those in power who have had the allegations laid at their doorsteps either develop a life-changing illness or the evidence mysteriously disappears! While we are on the subject what happened to the case that was levied at Prince Andrew? Has that been dealt with? I have been away for a while but I've not heard about it?

The abuse of children has been a subject that has in the past been brushed under the carpet in this country. Institutional abuse was rife for years. The powers that be, whether they are political or religious, have glossed over the allegations of their own in the past. Now with social media, they are finding it harder and harder to hide their seedy little creeps, so they offer up lower ranking people in their organisations to through the media off the scent of the big names. The 'So vile' case has proven this, how many big names have been brought forward since we found out how many poor young children Jimmy was fixing it for? The authorities were aware of these allegations at the time but did nothing! Shame on them!

On a lighter note, Amongst the highs of my touring which is not yet finished, I have another few weeks left yet.

My performances are all comedy-based and are designed to break down barriers students may have to reading and writing. So I work hard to get as many laughs as possible, whenever I visit a school.
This week at a shopping centre in Manchester while working for the National Literacy Trust, a group of school kids were laughing and were quite boisterous. I noticed a young lad sitting just in front of where I was placed: he looked quite perplexed. I had worked hard to get the audience on my side when, after half an hour, in a loud voice, he turned to his friend next to him and asked, “Is this supposed to be funny?”

Also last week my beautiful little granddaughter, Harleigh came to stay. She sleeps over at our house every Sunday night, and stays Monday. Both my wife and I look forward to her visits as we both dote on her. Usually Harleigh, who is only two and a half years old, likes to take her favourite book up to bed with her. We both lie in bed and read the book while eating fresh toast and drinking green tea. This ritual has become a must for both little Harleigh and myself on Sunday evenings. The books we normally read are Old MacDonald, where we have to find animals and numbers, and another book which was her father's favourite book when he was little, 'Andrews Bath'. This book tells of little Andrew's first bath without his parents and contains the line, “Get up them stairs to that bath!” this is Harleigh's favourite bit as she gets all excited and stand up in bed and shouts it out.

Last week I thought I would introduce Harleigh to one of my books. My most famous book is called 'The Spot On My Bum' which contains a poem by the same name. This poem is quite famous and has kids of all ages laughing when they hear it. So I read the poem to her (I don't know why I read it, I wrote it and have recited it for over seventeen years). Little Harleigh listened with intent then, when I had finished, hoping for the happiness and recognition all us needy writer types crave, little Harleigh looked at me and said, “Not read silly book Babo, read good book!” and then snatch my book from my hands and replaced it with Old MacDonald! Children have a way of keeping your feet firmly on the ground!

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