The best thing about travelling is not the staying in horrendous hotels. Nor
is it spending hours in airport lounges, or in your car. The best thing about
travel is that you get to meet people and see things that can be poles apart, when
they are physically only a few miles apart.
I’m born and bred in a town in West Yorkshire called Huddersfield. Which
means I’m the proud owner of a Yorkshire accent. Yet just six miles over a hill
lies a barren waste land known as Lancashire (now Greater Manchester). The
people who inhabit these lost lands speak with a strange accent which bears no
resemblance to mine. We are only talking about a distance of six miles here!
I know people who, when asked their nationality, don’t reply, British or English
they say, “I’m from Yorkshire!”
I thought this strange until it was once pointed out to me that I always
describe myself as Irish/Italian. This is my background, they are not just two
nationalities I have plucked from mid-air and claimed for myself.
People always reply, “That’s a strange mix!” but it’s not; they do have a
lot in common. Firstly there’s the religious addiction that my parents'
generation suffered from. They are each a fiery race. People go on about smooth
talking Latin lovers; they have never been on the receiving end of the Irish
charm, which has been known to loosen the tightest of knickers.
“Ah!” I hear you say (Those bloody voices again!) “What about the food?”
Now, my grandmother had magic powers; she was a tiny little Italian lady who
could produce what seemed like a banquet with nothing more than a tomato and a
few herbs. But I have had Italian food which they wouldn’t use on the "Bush
Tucker Trial" it is so bad. On the other hand I was in Kilkenny a few years ago
and sampled some of the best gastro-pub grub I’ve ever had.
The other thing they both have in common is they are both very regional
nationalities. You will hear lots of Irish people of a certain generation
describing others as, “He’s a Wexford man" or "He’s a Galway man”. Italy and
Ireland are both made up of what used to be small provinces not that long ago.
So the people still identify strongly with their regional identity.
All this got me thinking just how wrong we are when we stereotype people
from different countries. I know that we British are regarded as reserved and
sexually repressed by others around the globe. But they soon change their mind
when they encounter us in Magaluf or any other Mediterranean resort. Where
couples best suited for a David Attenborough documentary strip and copulate on
barroom tables etc! If you’re still in doubt about the British lack of
inhibition and uninhibited sexuality just watch the Jeremy Kyle show. This
show is where they parade people who make a grated carrot look intelligent!
I was lucky enough to visit a school in Germany last year. and I was so
impressed by the people and the country. In Britain we are obsessed about the
past, and of course the Germans are one of our obsessions. But from the moment I
stepped off the plane at Dusseldorf airport and got on sky train to the moment
I stepped into my hotel I was impressed. They know how to do things properly.
Not only do they take pride in their work, they work hard and play hard, which
for me is a perfect balance.
I know, like everywhere in the world, they have their fair quota of lazy
low-lifes, but on the whole they are good, hard-working friendly people, and I
for one like the German people.
I keep on telling my friends when they bang on about the past that it’s
quite ironic that a country that once single handedly nearly destroyed Europe,
are now single handedly saving Europe;
without the Bundesbank the Euro would now be worth less than an ASDA sausage!
(See previous blogs).
I have to admit I haven’t really toured France and my only contact with
the French was a bloke who used to drink with my father and Chef Allen! (Also
see previous blogs) Now I have my doubts about Chef Allen. I personally think he
was born in Barnsley and adopted the French accent to impress the ladies.
France has always been somewhere I’ve driven through on my way somewhere else,
so I can’t comment.
The same can be said about Luxembourg. I had a lovely week a few years
ago visiting St Georges international school in Luxembourg, but the country itself was quite nondescript. It’s so small it’s a place you drive through on
your way to somewhere else.
I love Spain, especially outside the tourist resorts. I’m always
surprised how shy the locals seem; they shy away from anyone who is not local.
The waiters you see on the Costas are not typical Spaniards. But the country
is big and diverse and wonderful.
Portugal is one of my favourite countries. There is no impressive
scenery and no impressive architecture, with possibly the exception of Sintra.
But the people are some of the nicest, friendliest welcoming people I have ever
met. They are, like the rural Spanish, quite shy, but a tour around Portugal is
well recommended.
The Americans are like having a big teenage son. They can be very polite
one minute then very rude the next, I always find this funny. They have no attention span and love new things and bound around with
uncontrollable enthusiasm. Because their country is so big, they very rarely
travel abroad which leaves quite a lot of them quite ignorant to world affairs.
It’s easy to knock and sneer at the Americans but you don’t become a super
power by accident.
I hope that there’s someone who is planning to organise a school visit
in Australia reading this at the moment because I really want to visit this
country. (This also goes for Library or festival visits, just book me!)
Australia has for me everything I need, laid back people, dangerous
reptiles and sunshine! (I have always kept snakes and I’m fascinated by
reptiles. I’ve also worked with quite a few reptiles in the past!)
Now I know these are simple generalisations and that nations are packed
with people of many opinions and ideas. And it’s easy to form opinions about a
whole race of people by your encounters with a few of them. Of course there’s
always a grain of truth in most stereotypes, but it is usually only a grain. But
the most obvious thing is that I too am stereotyping people as I want to see
them. Of course not all Portuguese are friendly. Nor are all rural Spaniards
shy - some might say they don’t know a shy Spaniard. The truth is as you travel
you only have a short time to form an opinion about the places you visit. Most
times I have revisited a place it has always seemed different. I suppose it’s
the old time and a place thing.
The real truth behind how we see nations is through who ever is in
charge of them. We are perceived, like it or not, via our politicians. The
problem with this is politicians usually represent a miniscule portion of any
country's population. But it’s how they get into power that’s the problem. The
South American countries favour Juntas, most Mediterranean countries'
politicians have family connections. The Americans vote for the person with the
most money, while the Germans seem to vote for the best person for the job. I
wonder which of these has the strongest economy?
Here in Britain we favour the old school tie as our favoured means of
choosing a politician. That is why we are seen around the world as sexually and
emotionally-repressed fuckwits!
But if you really want to see why it’s not a good idea to stereotype, if
you live in Britain or if you are planning to visit, try this out. Visit the
Isle of Wight, just off the south coast of England. I’m doing just that in a few
weeks time. Then drive up to Newcastle on Tyne or Gateshead across the river in
the North of England. You are still in the same country, separated by a few
hundred miles, but they may well as be in different planets they are so
different!
I love encountering different cultures and traditions as long as they are
not abuse hidden behind the word ‘culture’. I also love trying different foods
wherever I visit; you can tell a lot about people by what they eat! Whether
it’s kebabs in turkey or salads in Greece. I was once offered fish and chips in
Jerusalem! They taste different when you are there! Try making them when you
get home and they never taste the same.
I once bought a chicken croquette from a vending machine in a train
station in Amsterdam; to this day I can never figure out why I did this! And it
has to be said I have never seen another one of those vending machines anywhere
in the world. But I did once see a vending machine selling maggots, outside a
garage in Goole, East Yorkshire. I’m hoping it was something to do with fishing
but I daren’t ask!
Of course, the Americans are famous for their oversized meals, but we in
Britain are beginning to catch them up both in the crap food stakes and in the
obesity stakes. The sad thing is that all Americans that visit Britain complain
about how crap our food is! This from a nation that has spray cheese!
Talking about the Americans and the past, lets face it they saved our
arse in both the last big wars. But I was reading something the other day which
made my chest swell with national pride (not something that happens regularly
with me).As I said at the beginning of this blog I’m from a Yorkshire town and,
when I was young, racism was part of life. I’m ashamed to say that I too used
racist language as part of my vocabulary, I didn’t know any different. I had
always assumed that racism was rife in Britain since the year dot, how wrong I
was.
During WW2 the Americans that were stationed here in Britain before D-Day were shown a film before they set off over here telling them how strange us
Brits were. You see in America at the time they still had segregation; blacks
and whites were not allowed to mix. They were told that the Brits were a
peculiar race as they might invite a black person into their house for a cup of
tea. The American GI’s were told not to be offended by this as it was just our
strange ways.
But the thing that made me really proud was a lot of the black soldiers
that were about to fight and die alongside their white counterparts had the
cheek to have a couple of quiet drinks in the many pubs we used to have. Can
you imagine the outrage this caused to the white American soldiers - a man having
a quiet drink and being friendly to his comrades before he goes off to face
possible death fighting against an ideology that they themselves had to deal
with every day of their lives? This of course caused quite a lot of fights
between the black Americans and the white Americans. The wonderful thing was British soldiers and
the locals waded in on the side of the black soldiers!
Quick, give me a British
flag! I feel a burst of ‘Rule Britannia’ coming on!
